I was scared,not just scared frightened, I didn’t know what was going to happen, I just wanted to get better, there’s no other way to explain how much I had waited to get better, 5 months in hospital and I was getting worse, so on March 7th 2013 I got in an a ambulance and went on my journey to oxford,( I, so glad I had a catheter and a bag) didn’t have to make any stops :D, I was talking to the paramedic in the ambulance and she was so shocked as she never believed how much I had hone through at such a young age, she was telling all about the sights and where I should go when I get out of hospital, she was lovely, I got into the hospital, it was MASSIVE, so much bigger than the hospital I was in before, I got into the lift and I went into a ward called the true love ward.
I got into the bay and started crying, I was just so fed up and I hated my life by then, the nurses came over gave me a cuddle and some tissues, then the registrar came in with ten junior doctors examining me as they didn’t know what to do, he wrote up all my medications up and then my specialists came and saw me, they introduced me to the team as they where intrigued on how to make me better, so the next couple of days I had scans,echoes,endoscopy,X-rays, the lot , I ended up with two picc lines and TPN As I had lost around four stone due to being nil by mouth for two months due to gut failure, the day they told me I was so happy, my mum was staying up in oxford with me as she didn’t want to leave my side, they put me on cyclosporin (horrible drug) and I started waking up with chunks of my hair missing I was such a mess. I cried everyday because I wanted to give up, ( there was many times that happened ) , I then went into theater on May 7th to sort out my Stoma, but whilst on the operating theater I nearly died. (That’s twice that’s happened). The cyclosporin had developed me to have fluid around the lungs and get a really servere chest infection so I was on a ventilator for a few days ( waking up with that in your mouth is horrid) and that’s when I ended up in intensive care again.
My family came to see me two by two, my mum and step-dad came in and because I couldn’t talk because of the ventilator she gave me a pen and paper and I wrote the words (get me fucking out of here), she told me that I was going to get better now, I was relieved,still had a long journey ahead of me, I started doing physiotherapy as soon as I woke up, they put me into the chair as I couldn’t get up, but one of the days they accidentally put the PAC slides and it pinched my bum cheek so now I’m left with a little pressure sore there. This might make you laugh but I was so fed up and I asked my specialist to seduce me instead of sedate, all my family always remind me of that. I started breathing normally after two weeks, I was so keen just to get out if intensive care I worked so hard, the day before I left intensive care I went up to the true love ward and I was so eager to get back on the ward,
the day I left intensive care I was so depressed I just wanted to die,all I did was cry, I was so lonely, at that point I didn’t think anyone understood how lonely you can get being away from your family for so long. When my family came and visited I would have a huge smile on my face but as soon as they went I would cry and cry and cry,
I caught a really bad water a couple of days after I came back from intensive care, I had to spend my 19th birthday with no one to talk it but my family and the nurses made my day extra special, I had a cake, lots of money, clothes, perfumes of my family, and the nurses had organized a free meal at nandos with my family and they brought me a i Tunes voucher, I felt so happy, even though I was felt really sick, I enjoyed my day, my mum had just a bag if cards which people that gave her, the best one was a friend of my mums, she was getting married and she wanted me to go so she gave me 200 pounds to go and get a dress for her special day. I had loads of support from people from my home town, they donated money so that I could have an i Pad and a phone, donated money and did raffles and different things just to help me.
I don’t know what I would of done with out them
“………….to be continued …………